The good news is that I finally got a job, in my field, closely related to languages, with other language nerds, that will give me great experience for jobs in the future. But I absolutely hate the idea of leaving Austin. And maybe I would hate the idea less if I were moving to Boston or New York, or even Seattle. These cities remind me of Austin, but the job is in Houston, aka Humidity Capital of the World. I am thankful that it is almost October and humidity should not be an issue, but my friends, my apartment, my activities, and my entire life is in Austin. How will I survive in Houston without these familiar things?
I did not have this feeling of utter despair when I moved to Croatia and I'm not sure why. Maybe because things were ending here, school was over, I had no job, I wasn't into any of the things I am doing now (kickball, book club, trivia night, races, etc.) and I wasn't leaving much behind.
I know it's only 150 miles away and I can visit over the weekends and Houston is probably a great city and the job is something that will be really good for me, but I am having the hardest time being happy about it. People are confused when I tell them I got a job because my face probably looks more like I'm telling them I just got rejected from 20 jobs.
I have so much to do before I move that I don't even want to think about it. Packing, what to do about my mail, where will I live, what should I do with my apartment here, I need to put in my 2 weeks at the bank, *ugh*. The "what ifs" are slowly driving me insane. I think once I just accept the situation, things will run more smoothly, but I really don't want this to be happening. It's all so fast.
I start work October 18th. I have about 2.5 weeks to move my life to Houston. Le sigh.
Allow me to quote a few words from you in a recent letter: "I hate that you're gone, but I love that you're exactly where you need to be right now." These are the words of a true friend, one who undoubtedly feels your absence, but supports any efforts to follow a path to your future. Without knowing, I guarantee each one of the book club ladies was sad you will leave them, but genuinely excited for your opportunity.
ReplyDeleteThe beautiful thing about this job is that it's almost exactly what you've been waiting for. The only thing in your life that hasn't made sense for a while is this issue of direction - well, now you have it. It's a direction away from friends and established life, but it's ONLY 150 miles away. Your friends will be there, Austin will be there, and you can keep this blog so we feel like we're right there with you.
Houston isn't Austin, certainly, but it does offer a different spectrum of opportunity - better museums, restaurants and yes, JOBS. You will find your niche, you always do. I don't know anyone more headstrong and competent.
The About Me section on this blog says "I'm trying to figure out what I'd like to do with my life" - so go to Houston and figure out if that's what it is, we're all supporting you. If it doesn't work out, we'll all be here for you (some closer than others.)