I am currently working at Frost bank as a Teller and trying to figure out what I really want to do. I know this is not it. I would really like to go back to school and get my Masters, but I have yet to decide what I would like to study. Rather than sit back until a revelation hits me in the head like a falling brick, I'm taking steps toward figuring things out. I am studying for the GRE, which I am scheduled to take October 2nd. I just finished going through the book I bought today, and now I need to practice what I "learned." It has been nice getting a studying routine down again, but it has not gotten me closer to understanding my future.
I remembered today that when I take the test, they will ask me which schools I want them to send my score to...and I have no idea. Do I want to stay in Austin or should I go somewhere north like Boston or New Jersey? I have no idea. I am so tired of not knowing. I just need to make a decision, but I am so afraid that it will be the wrong one that I am stuck at a standstill. I think the only thing worse than making the wrong decision is to never make one at all, so I need to step up, make up my mind and just go for something. I will look into schools and programs this weekend and narrow it down to 5-10 options. That will give me a good start.
My first Triathlon is next weekend; I can't believe 7 weeks have already gone by since I signed up for this race. I am somewhat nervous, but excited as well. I have been training for almost 2 months, so I don't think endurance will be an issue, but we will just have to see. I already signed up for my next race, the Warrior Dash on November 21st. After reading about that race, the Triathlon seemed like a piece of cake!
Today marks 3 weeks since Lauren left Austin and I am definitely feeling her absence. She was my go-to friend for everything and she was always up for doing random things around town or just painting our nails and talking. It's Friday night now and none of my friends want to hang out. I'm going to try to take this as an opportunity to study and catch up on sleep instead of wallowing. Well, maybe I'll study after a little bit of wallowing. I'm entitled. My bff is an ocean away!
this may as well be taken directly from the pages of my journal 6-9 months ago. you and i have both struggled with direction and let me say i applaud you for taking steps to create your future. it takes dedication to searching, but above all a re-evaluation of yourself and your goals. personally, i can see you starting an adventure in boston or washington d.c. and being successful. i know you love austin, (so do i!), but you owe it to yourself to take a leap of faith. you're incredibly organized, efficient, dedicated, understanding, compassionate and intelligent. with those skills you're already ahead of the game. just truly look inside yourself, write down everything you think of, and have fun with the search, imagine yourself studying a subject in a random place and really ask yourself if that could be an option for you. i have faith in you and i trust your judgment beyond many others' - i know you're capable of anything and now you've just got to prove it to yourself. xoxo
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